Ugly Betty Ripped My Heart Out and Tore It to Pieces

Let me rephrase that. ABC ripped my heart out and tore it to pieces. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then maybe you should sit down first.



*takes deep breath and tousles bangs*

Ugly Betty is cancelled. /omg

Yup, this 4th season is its last and it’s all I can do from running around naked while bawling my eyes out.

But I’m not gonna do that for two reasons. First, nobody need see me naked; fabulous as I am, I don’t think we’re that close. Second, running takes my breath away. Literally.

So what I’m gonna do is get help. No, I’m not being overly dramatic. Crying at reunions is overly dramatic. Sharon Cuneta is overly dramatic. Biting your friend’s head off because she accidentally deleted all your files from your computer while trying to save a video she created of herself and Johnny Depp in a movie together *sobs* is overly dramatic. But losing Ugly Betty and trying to deal with it by getting professional (by that I mean, Internet chatroom) help is not overly dramatic. In fact, it makes so much sense I’m wondering why I never thought of it before.

According to my research, there are 5 stages of grief. They say if you get stuck in one then you won’t be able to heal, which sucks, since I need to heal first in order to lose weight. Grief makes me hungry. So I would need to get over each one in order to really be at peace with Ugly Betty leaving.

Stage 1: Denial. /no Yup. I went through this. I was like, “Nah. They can’t get Ugly Betty off the air. Two and a Half Men is still on and Lord knows somebody needs to do something about that.” I kept on telling myself that ABC was just joking; that they were spicing things up a bit by acting like they were gonna take the show away. Sorta like when you don’t show up at a date or when you mercilessly ridicule a guy just because you like him so much and the best way to keep his attention is making him feel like crap. You’ve never done that before? Me, neither. *looks away*

Anyway, I had to face the fact that this flirting with cancellation might just be real. They might actually axe the best thing currently on TV, and looking back at all those kick-ass hilarious shows that got cancelled (The Class, Popular, Arrested Development), coupled with the announcement from ABC, I finally, but not painlessly, believed it. Not accepted it – not yet – but believed it.

Stage 2: Anger. /shock And, ooooh, lots of it. I’m so angry right now I breathe steam. Well, partly because I managed to forget my coffee was smoking hot and just slurped it, but the biggest reason for the steam is anger. Stupid, inadequate, tasteless network, doesn’t know what show rocks and what show should get sacked *coughs* Private Practice *coughs*. When I get my hands on who’s responsible for this, I’m gonna tear one more hole. Never mind where.

*shakes fist at heavens*

Curse you, ABC!!!

Stage 3: Bargaining. /please Yes, please, why not. I’ll trade all my future servings of Jollibee Burger Steak (best thing to come out of a fast-food restaurant), and my F4 card collection. What? You don’t know F4? Me, either...:D

Anway, point is I’ll trade an awful lot of valued stuff just to continue getting a dose of this addictive show.

Stage 4 – *takes a deep breath* – Stage 4: Depression. Why do you think I’ve gained weight? I was depressed, that’s why!

I know I started gaining the pounds months before there was even a hint of a cancellation, but that’s just my body giving me clues. Now, that I’ve found out my body was right, I’ve gone through buckets of fried chicken butts, and plate after plate of tilapia with coconut milk. I have no control, I feel inadequate, and my self confidence has suffered a great deal. I haven’t exfoliated in weeks, for Pete’s sake!

And, of course, the last step.

Stage 5: Acceptance. Not as easy as it looked online; this step took so much from me. I had to stop munching on my KFC french fries for a bit. I had to tell myself, “This is not the end of the world. Other shows will come out. They won’t likely be as awesome as Ugly Betty, but they will drain your brain of its surviving neurons nonetheless. Stop overacting, and go to the gym.”  And it dawned on me, I can buy the whole set of Ugly Betty from the DVD store near SM Delgado now. The whole set. And I wouldn’t be able to do that if it hadn’t been cancelled. So there’s always a silver lining after all.

In closing, though, I would like to raise a glass to the people I would miss the most.

To Betty, without you there will be no show. Not because you bring the most to the story, but just for the sheer fact that your name is in the title. I will miss your fashion faux pas (what’s plural?) and your dedication to ignoring all common rules against ponchos.

To Wilhemina, the real bride of Chuckie. You are like a perfect pair of stilettos. Ridiculously expensive, incredibly painful, but undoubtedly gorgeous. Thanks for being the best villain on TV. Ever.

And to the most important reasons I watch the show, my dearly beloveds, Amanda and Marc, you complete me. Well, not really, since neither of you I can drag to the altar and marry, but you bring joy and important fashion tidbits to my boring existence. You bring pride to superficiality and have proven that friendships can be founded on the common need to ridicule.

I will always love you.

*opens compact and checks for mascara streaks*


Goodbye, Ugly Betty. I will wait with bated breath and 3 orders of baby back ribs for your last episode.

P.S. To Gio, marry me. :x