The Boat That Rocked: A Lesson in Rock N' Roll

I don't normally review movies I like because I end up gushing shamelessly without a thought to the reputation I've been trying to improve. However, after watching Richard Curtis' latest comedy that features guys with the sexiest accents and music that can make you sing out loud, I couldn't help but pen down my thoughts that will turn out to be incoherent as I go along. To say that the movie rocked is the biggest understatement of the year. It was funny, sexy, insightful, and filled with the most kick-ass music.

But first, I have to stop gushing and give you at least a basic idea what the movie is about.

The Boat That Rocked, aka Pirate Radio in the US, is about a pirate radio ship anchored off the coast of England in international waters playing rock and pop music for UK listeners. The exclusively rock and pop station, Radio Rock, is at odds with the government for playing rock music 24/7 and for DJs that use cuss words a lot. It is 1966 and, like most people in authority, the guv'nors have their knickers in a twist.

The movie begins with Carl, played by a cute young actor named Tom Sturridge, arriving on Radio Rock, after getting expelled from school for smoking, to bond with his godfather, played by Bill Nighy. His mother thought he might get sorted out having a father figure around, a decision that turns out to be a 'spectacular mistake'. He meets the other members of the pirate radio ship and gets into all sorts of trouble, meets a boatload of women, loses his virginity, and basically hangs out with the coolest buncha guys you could ever hope to meet.

If you have seen this movie already, you'd understand why I can barely put into words how cool it was. If you haven't and is a fan of Bill Nighy, or Phillip Seymour Hoffman, or Shaun of the Dead's Nick Frost, then you should definitely check it out. If you have seen the movie and didn't like it and think I should stop with this incessant raving, too bad.

So why do I love thee? Let me count the ways...


1. The music. The soundtrack for this movie is to-die-for. You'll hear all awesome 60s music that makes you question where modern 'rocker' posers get their inspiration from. They've The Who, The Turtles, Small Faces, Jimi Hendrix, The Beach Boys, my lover David Bowie, and their awesomeness The Kinks. Listening to the songs is enough to make you wish you belonged in that generation.

I mean, someday when we have kids, what music do we have to share them from our decade? Don't break my heart and say Chris Brown. Boy, how awesome would it be to have been alive when rock still was?

*sigh*

2. Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Oh, those eyebrows. They're enough to make you offer yourself. And maybe include your first born as well. I have loved Phillip Seymour since he played Lester Bangs in another movie that featured awesome music in another decade I should have been in. He's a brilliant actor and thoroughly believable as one who knows his rock music. And that voice is so powerful - when he says jump, I jump.

3. Bill Nighy. You know you've seen this guy but don't know where? He was Davy Jones in Pirates of the Caribbean, Viktor in the Underworld movies, the crazy rocker Billy Mack in Love Actually, and will play Rufus Scrimgeour in the last Harry Potter movies. He also was the voice of Whitey in Flushed Away and was in both movies that starred Simon Pegg and Nick Frost – Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.

This guy's already 60, but still exudes so much sex appeal he can still leave you breathless. And you just got to love how he speaks, such personality!

4. Men with sexy accents. There's something about British accent that makes women go wild. It's not just me, too. Ask random women and they'll tell you they're more likely to take their clothes off when pursued by a guy that speaks the Queen's English. This movie has so many guys with sexy accents I could barely keep my head straight. Nick Frost (from Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz), Chris O'Dowd (from the IT Crowd), Jack Davenport (from Pirates of the Caribbean), Rhys Ifans (Adam Sandler's HOT older brother in Little Nicky), who will also join Bil Nighy in the last Harry movies as Xenophilius Lovegood.

Dang, girls, you have no idea how hot it got listening to these guys talk.

5. Tom Wisdom. I know I should just have included him in the previous paragraph, but I'd like to properly introduce the new love of my life.

Yes.

While I wait for Slash's divorce, Tom and I will be in a passionate, toe-curling affair that will have even the most experienced blush. As one of the 300 Spartans, I think he has what it takes to guarantee satisfaction. And mixed with his The Boat That Rocked character, Midnight Mark, the resident ladies man in Radio Rock, Tom and his leather pants are all I need in a deserted island. Mmmm, yummy...

So there. If that doesn't make you want to go and watch the movie, then you're either a Miley Cyrus fan or dead inside. There's nothing more I can do for you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need another dose of Midnight Mark.